What Exactly Is The Parents’ Role In Planning Your Wedding?

Wedding Tips & Ideas | August 18 2016 | by Jenny | 0 Comments

An engagement announcement is usually thrilling news for all friends and family members, but it also means that your close ones will be really busy in the next period, as they are most likely to helping you to plan your perfect wedding. The parents, in particular, of both bride and groom, play a major role in ensuring that the wedding of their child is both memorable and successful. Whether they are going to be involved in the pre-wedding preparation, participating in the ceremony, in the reception or they are going to bug you with all kinds traditions, your parents are an important part of every single stage of your marriage process. In order to be sure that the upcoming wedding day will be everything the bride and the groom could wish for, understanding the role of each parent is essential.


To make your task easier, read on a few tips about what are the responsibilities of the parents while planning and organizing the wedding of their children.

Before the wedding responsibilities

If the couple’s parents have not met yet, it is traditionally the responsibility of the groom’s parents to organize and establish a meeting with the bride’s parents, and since the parents will need to communicate often with each other during the wedding preparation period about all kinds of details, this event should occur really soon.

Congratulate the (other) parents. It’s traditionally the responsibility of the groom’s parents to offer their congratulations to the bride’s family after the engagement. These days it doesn’t really matter who makes the first contact, but if you’re the bride’s parents, wait a few days, giving the groom’s parents an opportunity to honor this tradition.

The engagement party is usually the responsibility of the bride’s parents, still, the groom’s parents might choose to throw the couple another engagement party so that they will be able to introduce the bride to their family and close friends.

If the father and the groom have a really close relation, sometimes he can get involved in planning the bachelor party. Even if it might sound weird, you might find out that your dad is really cool and funny when he is not in the ‘responsible parent’ shoes.

Another important event where the soon-to-be-married couple should involve their parents is the rehearsal dinner. It will be a great relief to relax for one night, transfer the responsibilities and enjoy the calm before your wedding day.

The bride’s family is responsible for sending the engagement announcement in the local newspaper. The bride’s mother, in particular, will be really involved during the whole planning process. She will help her daughter with completing and sending the invitations and establishing details of the ceremony and reception. Also, the mother’s bride traditionally is the first one to choose her outfit for the wedding day and the groom’s mother is expected to choose something similar so that they will not eclipse each other.

Both families should share their traditions with each-other. Research any family, religious or cultural traditions that could add a special touch to your child’s wedding day. There may be a song or poem that could be included in the ceremony or a traditional folk dance or ethnic dish that may be part of the reception.

Before the ceremony ‘To Do’ list

Even if the big event is really close, there are still a lot of things to do. The bride’s mother helps the bride get dressed for the ceremony if she requires help. With all these responsibilities concerning the bride, the mother should not forget that she should take at least 35- 40 minutes for her own hair and makeup and other preparations.

The father of the bride should spend some time alone with his daughter before the ceremony and discuss, give her advice and make sure that she is happy. Of course, the father should accompany the bride to the ceremony.

The parents of the groom should arrive fully dressed one hour before the ceremony and be ready to help if needed. In some weddings, depending on tradition and preferences, the parents might be responsible for walking the groom down the aisle.

Let’s not forget, the parents should the main source of equilibrium when the bride’s or the groom’s emotions are overwhelming or if one of them is getting cold feet. Their simple presence is reassuring and motivational.

What do the parents need to do during the ceremony?

Everybody knows that at this point, the father has to accomplish one of the biggest responsibilities and traditions of the whole wedding ceremony: he has to escort the bride down the aisle and when the officiant asks who is giving her away, the father should take his daughter’s right hand and place it in the officiant’s hand. The father of the groom usually escorts the groom’s mother down the aisle.

Traditionally the bride’s parents have to pay all the costs for the ceremony, while the groom’s parents contribute by paying the officiant;s fee and the marriage license. Nowadays, the costs of the ceremony are split in half to both families or acquitted by the bride and the groom themselves.

During-the-reception duties

The bride’s parents need to act as hosts during the reception. They should be responsible for welcoming the guests, making introductions and entertaining the crowd with interesting conversations, whenever the newlyweds need to be replaced.

The father of the bride will have a rather busy night, as he will have to give the traditional first speech, make sure that the supplies are fully stocked and he will participate in the traditional father-daughter dance.

The mother of the bride will have the responsibility to collect the gifts and deposit them in a specific room. As the bride’s family is traditionally paying for the wedding reception, the groom’s parents’ responsibilities are limited.

No matter how much the parents are involved in the planning process or in the wedding ceremony, they need to keep in mind to enjoy this special moment of their child’s life. They should be ready for tense moments, plan ahead, keep their calm and forgive easily.

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